Sex and Sexuality

Sex and Sexuality

You may be seeking therapy as you feel out of sorts with the world, feeling like you don’t fit in to the ‘usual’ or ‘normal’ way of things. You may have noticed that you don’t feel attracted to anyone of the opposite gender or maybe even not attracted to anyone at all or maybe you are attracted to a wide variety of genders. You might be exploring different ways of expressing yourself that don’t seem to fit into gender norms. You may already identify as being part of the LGBT community and are curious to understand more about yourself.

Why therapy?

As you are working towards understanding yourself better and exploring your identity it is important to have a non-judgemental space in which to verbalise your thoughts and feelings. Therapy can provide such a space, particularly with a therapist who is non-judgemental, has an understanding of LGBT issues and/or is LGBT themselves. It is important to feel free to explore your identity without being pathologised or being pushed into an identity that doesn’t fit you.

Do I need to see a LGBT therapist?

Primarily, it is important that you feel comfortable with the therapist that you choose, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they need to be LGBT themselves. However, there may be some important questions that you want to ask any potential therapist so you know they are the right fit for you. Some things to consider; does your therapist get your pronouns right and those of your partner; is your therapist open to discussing issues around LGBT relationships including sex; does your therapist have an understanding of the potential challenges faced by the LGBT community; does your therapist use social media to highlight LGBT issues all year round or only during Pride month?

What issues can I bring to therapy as an LGBT person?

Obviously, you can bring anything that is troubling you to therapy such as anxiety and depression, in addition the LGBT community face many issues, including:

Loneliness; feeling isolated, struggling to find a community, to make friends

Destructive behaviours: self-harm, alcohol, drugs, abusive relationships

Relationships: difficulties with partners, friendships, family, work colleagues; psychosexual or emotional intimacy, asexuality in a sexualised world, polyamorous and ethical non-monogamy, separation and divorce, loss and bereavement

Sexuality/Gender Identity: coming out to yourself or others, attitudes towards LGBT sex and/or gender identity, exploring and expressing your identity and the impact on your life and lifestyle

How can therapy help?

Therapy can help you be more comfortable with who you are whether you are already out or starting your journey towards coming out. It can help you see the ways in which our society does and does not support LGBTQ+ people. It can help you talk to your family, friends, work colleagues and to process their responses.

You may already be out and are looking for therapy that has nothing to do with your sexuality or gender identity but want a safe space to explore your feelings. Where no one is going to assume that your unhappiness is anything to do with your being LGBT but also has an understanding of the intersectionality of living in a cis-heteronormative society if and when it does.

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